Ugh! I'm having the hardest time keeping my mouth shut. When Maddie is riding I am constantly correcting her riding. Last night I swear I told her what to do with her reins a million times. They were to short, to long, uneven...ect. She wasn't using her legs to move him or slow him down. I sounded like a crazy person. But I know she can ride. She's very good at it. She just needs some guidance.
For all those parents who have riding experience, how do you watch your children ride without controlling the way they ride? I find if I don't give her direction she complains the entire time that he won't listen to her. So how do I just zip it and let her figure it out. I hate sounding like crazy show mom. I swore I'd never be the mom on the side lines coaching my kids, but I am! Help! I don't want to take the fun out of her riding, but I want her to ride right when she is practicing.
Stop them mid stride.( instead of telling her "shorten your reins "..ask her to look at herself and tell you what is wrong.) and ask her to tell you what she is doing wrong. It's like if you always use GPS you never learn the route. Hope that helps.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I just want her to enjoy riding and if I'm always correcting its not fun. I don't want her to also feel pressured every time she get in a show to please me.
DeleteYou say "I know she can ride. She's very good at it. She just needs some guidance" doesnt make sense. Keep the first two sentences, toss out the other sentence, leave her alone and then you go and learn riding yourself. Maybe you are living through your child a bit?
ReplyDeleteI do ride. I've be riding since I was younger than her. Whats hard is she gets frustrated when he isn't listening and I want to stop stepping in and telling her what to do. She knows how to ride him she just needs a little reminder every once in a while. I'm a total helpicopter mom. I need to let her work through the issues with him without always stepping in.
DeleteHe is 100% safe so I don't worry about him harming her.
Mistakes are the most valuable learning tool. Don't take away the gift of learning from mistakes from your child. You don't want a horse afraid of making mistakes, and you don't want a child afraid of making mistakes.
Deletethe good things is you are aware enough to be asking yourself these questions...keep asking yourself.
DeleteI consider myself a pretty humbled person and sometimes I have to put the tough questions out there to learn how to be a better mom. I've seen many a moms who are ring side moms and if I'm willing to admit it and out it out there maybe more parents can learn to let it go to!
DeleteI hope this don't come off as rude, but there is no such thing as 100% safe horse. It irks me when I see horses advertised as bomb proof....I grew up on a ranch riding for cattle on some great horses. Even the older ones would occasionly find a spook somewhere.
DeleteI agree! What I should have said was he has given me no reason to feel he is unsafe. They are horses and anything can happen. Any horse can be dangerous. We had a horse before our Indie and she was awful. My daughter asked why he was naughty and bucked all the time. I simply explained to her that all horses can buck, bit, kick, ect. But most chose not to.
Deleteas long as she isn't putting herself in danger or hurting the horse, she'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteLet her ride and figure the horse out. I give lessons to multiple kids, if she loves to ride she will want to work it out. I let some of the kids just sit on the horse until they learn to to make the horse move and behave. I only do this if the horse is safe and the kid is ok.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like she needs to built the trust with horse. Remind her that riding is about having fun. Take her out for a trail ride where you are not watching her and correcting her all the time, but instead enjoying each other's company while riding. All of my horses are well rounded and do everything from pleasure, to gaming, to trail riding. The horse gets sick of riding in circles as much as the kid does. I find it also helps to ride with the kids durring lessons so they can see an example of what everything is supose to be looking like. Shoulder, hip, heels for example if you remind them then they can see it.
Also, do not do everything for her. Let her decide if she wants to show and what classes she wants to enter. Let her do the work. If you have your own horse (even if you aren't showing) maybe give them the bath and ride and practice what your daughter does along with her.
Establise goals for the day, for example: correct leads, posting diagonals, slow trot, head down. Don't let her set a goal of a blue ribbon if she shows. Set personal goals so she doesn't feel like she fails if she doesn't get that top ribbon.
Lastly, just enjoy the horses! I know it is hard to step back while watching your daughter struggle with her horse, but as soon as they 'click' you will know! Every horse and rider isn't the perfect match either.
Here's a link to a blog post written by an open show judge on this topic that you might be interested in: http://openhorseshowjudge.blogspot.com/2012/01/narrator.html
ReplyDeleteThanks Andy! I'm going to put this link on my blog. It was great!
DeleteI leave the instruction to the trainer and sit my butt in the truck! My son is 12 and said he is miserable when he takes lessons from me :-( So although I give lessons and ride competitively myself I haul him out for lessons and we are both much happier.
ReplyDeleteI am in the same boat as a Mom who rides and cares for our horses. My daughter says to me "I know" or " I am riding him , not you" She is 13 and can be a bit sassy. It has taken me a lot sometimes to just bite my lip and walked away while she is riding but I am getting a lot better at it.
ReplyDeleteGo watch her lessons, but sit far enough away from the arena fence (under a tree in the shade or somewhere where you are out of ear shot. ) You can still "watch" the lesson and what is going on, but far enough away to not be too "helicopter"....
ReplyDeleteI see that right after, I wrote on your wall... the safe horse done the unexpected. As I said they all have a fear trigger and flight is their way of staying alive in wild world.
ReplyDelete